Love Yourself…But How?

Imagine a future where your perception of your own beauty was not filtered through the lens of society’s definition of perfection. How amazing would it be if we all simply embraced the thing that we like best about ourselves without the world around us telling us which features are best? Pretty amazing, right?!  In a society where the emphasis on someone else’s definition of beauty is all around us, most of us have wondered where we fit into this definition or if we even fit in at all.

IMAGINE A FUTURE documents the experiences of a teenage girl by the name of Janet Goldsboro as she works to determine what beauty is for herself. Truly, her story is about finding the beauty in all of us.

Within the first minute and a half, Micheala Angela Davis offers the insight that not only sets the stage for the documentary; it explains the complexity of being a woman and navigating your way through the world. “Love yourself…have high self esteem. How? How do you love yourself? That’s the work.”

Indeed, learning to quiet the outside noise that is the media, your friends, and sometimes even your family, is not an easy feat but it is necessary.

Like Janet Goldsboro, as a teenager, I can remember not feeling comfortable with my looks. I would spend countless hours in the mirror wondering how I would look with a smaller nose (as in the stories of Gabby Douglas and Adepero Oduye, it was often suggested that I get a nose job) and thinner lips. I hated my curly hair that to this day won’t stay straight for all of the heat in all the world. I would try to push in my hips in because no one had explained to me that they were coming and at the time being “shapely” had not yet become an a widely acceptable thing to be. Not only did I not look like anyone in the media, I didn’t look like anyone else in my family and took many years to embrace what I had as not only good enough but pretty dope.

We, as women need to sculpt our own idea of beautiful to fit ourselves. It is only then that true love of one’s self can begin. Instead of looking at yourself and seeing what isn’t quite up to the standard of beauty that has been set by someone outside of yourself, grab a mirror, look at yourself, pick something(s) you like about yourself.

Take a sheet of paper and make a list of the things that you do well and don’t be afraid to say that you make the best macaroni and cheese in your family.

Eliminate negative self talk and engage in Radical Acts of Self Love. Paint your nails, style your hair, wear your favorite color, anything. Just make sure you do something to show yourself how special you are to YOU.

IMAGINE A FUTURE begins a conversation that has long needed to be had. Whether you are young like Janet Goldsboro or a full grown woman, you have to know that you have value and you have to tell yourself how special you are. One day the world will catch up and even if they don’t , you won’t be bound by anyone’s limitations because you know how amazing you really are.

Words by KarynRose Bruyning is a Florida born, New York City based writer. She is the writer/director of the web series, SMOKE AND MIRRORS, and co-owner of Christmas in July 1982. Follow her on Twitter @thekarynrose.

Refinery 29 Summer Shampoo Review

Refinery 29 Summer Shampoo Review

Refinery 29’s Beauty Nation let’s women in a secret…Hair Rules Daily Cleansing Cream is one of the best shampoos for EVERY type of hair!

Get yours today -> Daily Cleansing Cream

#Fearless Fatima

It’s Fearless Friday!

This week’s #fearless moment comes from freelance stylist, blogger, & office manager, Fatima.



When I think of fearless, I think of a moment not too long ago when I decided to leave a job that made me unhappy for way too long. After I completed college, I found a well paying job maybe a year or so later. I was able to do what I loved everyday but the staff and the company I worked for were not pleasant.

At first, leaving my job was just an idea but each day the idea started to consume me. I realized I was spending countless hours stressing and being unhappy. I never had the energy or time to work on things that really made me happy like my blog , designing or spending time with my friends.

When I expressed this idea to most of my friends and family they all said I was crazy and told me to find something else first .

However, I was determined to focus on passions more. That was on of the most unhappy times of my life. Then one day I just got the courage and took a leap. I was tired of being unhappy so… I saved up as much as I could, found an unpaid internship working in a high end fashion showroom in the city and I put in my two week notice.

That was not only the best choice I made in my life, but it was the scariest as well. I was terrified that things wouldn’t work out, but I stuck with my gut feeling. I didn’t end up getting a job at that showroom but it put me in the right direction and gave me the right experience to find a much better job still doing what I love. I even had more time to focus on my business and blog. There was moments when I doubted my decision, but I just kept pressing forward and I’m so happy I did!

Fatima, 22

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You want it? Go get it! Be #fearless!



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#workit: Clean vs Dirty

From our friends over at Dating Tourettes…#workit

dating tourettes

Since I’m on the topic of hair today…

A man just came into my office raving about my hair and how great it looked. Now, I usually wash my hair every day but recently there are times when I go two days without washing it. Since I have started doing this, I get so many more compliments on my hair. Most of my clean hair compliments come from women. The dirty hair compliments come from men. I just don’t understand.

The first time I made the connection and started paying attention to clean hair days vs dirty hair days was a few months ago when I hauled some stuff off to the dump and the guy at the dump hit on me. Seriously…at the dump. He also complimented my hair over and over again, remembered me from previous jaunts to the dump, and invited me come to back any time…

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O MAGAZINE + Hair Rules

As you flip through the August 2013 O, The Oprah Magazine, be sure to lookout for Hair Rules’ found Anthony Dickey sharing some summer styling tips for your texture.

The feature showcases the fan-favorite, Kinky Curling Cream and the Dickey’s “Tenets of Texture.”

Drop us a comment and tell us what’s your favorite style for the summer!



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